if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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