Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
