i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
