Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
