I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
