I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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