the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
