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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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