it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
