you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
