your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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