So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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