her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
