**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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