That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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