I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
