If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
