using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize