i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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