Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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