If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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