was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this boner is exhausting
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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