He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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