I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I cockslap morals
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
