Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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