ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
