is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So much rum. So many feels.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
