I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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