kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
