VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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