my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize