i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
