It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I want her autograph on my taint
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
