God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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