You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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