we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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