you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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