Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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