you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
