apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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