I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
