remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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