if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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