Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
