Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
