dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
