Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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