i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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