I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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