This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Every concussion has its silver lining
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
