Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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