as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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