Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
