I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
