yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
