Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
